he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
