I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
