Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
