Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
