This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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