The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
