I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
