I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
