I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
