I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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