He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
