well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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