you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize