I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
