just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
