I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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