I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
