Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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