oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
