I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
