what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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