Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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