HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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