do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize