ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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