My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
