I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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