My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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