I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize