You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
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nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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