I want to walk on stilts...naked
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Are we still banned from the library?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
