with your own penis?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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