Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
