just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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