all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
