Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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