Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
