Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had sex on a dog bed..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
