I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
