There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need to calm my uterus...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
