Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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