i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
