dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize