that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
