I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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