on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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