The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
