i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I understand Curling. That high.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
