We won't sleep together?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
