This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize