Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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