I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
