Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize