I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize