In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just invented taco cereal.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
