If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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