everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
