Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
