as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
