If i come over, it means nothing
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
