I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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