Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
