she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
