I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bang-toberfest begins!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
