She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Congratulations! We have a period
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