her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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