Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
